Attack Squirrel

One of the benefits of having children is there are times when they make you laugh. If you play your cards right, you can engineer a few more of these moments. Now, I'm not sure of the moral implications, so I probably should make it clear that I can't condone the engineering part of the following story.

Friday I got home from work a little early. My timing was such that my older two were getting off the bus at the same time. Sierra was talking to her friend and Savannah, having spotted me was quick walking in my direction. Her hands were full and she was adjusting her awkward backpack. She wasn't thinking, not even a little bit, about the tales of attack squirrels my father and I used to tell her roamed the deck where he feeds the birds.

The game was we would tell her that was an attack squirrel and she would tell us it wasn't. She was much more resistant than her sister, so Sierra was the one we decided the squirrels were trying to get.

So, I'm watching Savannah pick up speed. She's passing by a yard surrounded by a chain link fence. Sometimes there is a dog that suddenly comes out from behind the bushes startling you. So, it is not much of a surprise when she springs, not unlike a startled cat, to the far side of the walk. I don't hear the bark, but I chuckle a little, thing I know what happened.

I go inside the house.

In a moment Savannah walks through the door and with a laugh I say, "That dog in the yard scare you.". "Did you see me jump?" she asks. She then tells me the details I missed. She was walking by the fence when suddenly something moved to her left, on the fence. In was, in her words, a fat, angry squirrel ready to jump on her. She didn't wait. She reacted, springing to the grass and letting loose a frightened scream. Payoff.

Apparently, this ninja-like maneuver was enough to cause the squirrel to change it's mind. It darted away from her.

A better parent would probably have a little chuckle and be done. Not me. I'm already planning what to say the next time Vanna and I see a squirrel at the same time. I'm thinking something like, "He's eyeing you." or "He looks real angry." or just a simple loud, "SQUIRREL" with embellished finger pointing. Whatever I choose, if you are a witness, you'll now know why.