Praying

One friend closes his eyes, but as he runs through the list of thing he planned to pray for, they don't feel like they get very far. The sound swims around him in the empty room, but he can't tell if they escape up to God. He feels so distant, if he is there at all he thinks. He wishes he desired to pray, but it is a sense of obligation that has him here. He feels like he is fighting for his faith, but it is a fight he doesn't know how to make. A war he can't wage. The doubts he can't shed seem to hold God at a distance.

Miles away, a second friend shares his prayer list with me. We pray for people from lives, our churches, our struggles. It is a powerful exercise, but it reveals our weaknesses. He wants his prayer life to flourish, the failings nag him. It isn't doubt, but desire and distraction which holds him back. He wants to more greatly want spiritual things, be committed when no one is watching. Learn to pray in earnest. His prayer request is so earnest, so relatable it is hard not to downplay it as common.

My prayer life sometimes seems so weak, it is dangerously close to well wishing, I read the list and consider the items. I spend long enough to let them filter into my mind before I move to the next item. I hope God is in there somewhere, but it doesn't feel like I am laying these things at this feet. It feels more expedient, than faithful. No real consideration of God. You can't do this for long without arriving in a desert.

The prayer life I love, the prayer life I need, though, is quite a bit different. I close my eyes and let my mind consider the awesomeness of God. Being at the feet of the creator of the universe. Unlimited power combined with a sacrificial love for me. The personal relationship I have with the overseer of everything, the Sovereign of the universe. It is hard not just to devote the time in his presence to adoration.

Just when you have fully embraced and acknowledge the amazing nature of it all, you consider the blessings you have been given. The wife and children, granted by God. The house and job. Even living in a country of so much privilege. The thankfulness for blessings which have been crafted through my grandparents and their grandparents. The truth I received because decades ago someone told the pastor, who would tell me, about Jesus. There is no end to the number of things to be thankful for. Thankfulness offered in the throne room of God, the Holy of Holies.

When it comes to the requests they seem so small. Asking for health to God, who gives all life. Asking for financial stability, to one who can speak into existence streets of gold. Patience from one who has dealt with the foolishness of mankind. Wisdom, for a people whose brightest minds, are intellectual twinkles by comparison. These requests are requests for drops of water from an ocean of abundance. I don't dare limit God with my own stipulation.

I ask the God's will be done and enjoy the lush bounty he provides.