Don't be late

I work with many different people in my work, church and private life and I am an observer of people.  I have, over the years, developed certain beliefs about these observations, which I think are true.  On of them has to do with timing.  The timing of someone's arrival will very often tell you what they think about the meeting or event.  Early people are excited to be there, can't wait for it to start.  Late people would rather be doing something else.

This is a source of disputes sometime among couples.  If the wife is ready to go at the same time the slow moving husband is just getting in the shower, in may be he doesn't share your zeal for you parents.  It is likely that the argument that ensues may be in the language timeliness, but that is a mask on interest.  When my wife tells me she hates being late, I know it is not really about being late.  When I observe how that statement is made selectively, I am not really commenting on her willingness to be late sometimes.  We too have linked this idea of timing to expected enjoyment.

There are certain things you should never be late for.  Any man who is late for their wedding, should probably consider weighing their options.  They are not going to be seen as the cool guy with casual timing. No, they are going to be seen as the poor, dumb idiot who has just earned for themselves a multi-decade complaint.  Every argument in that household is likely to end with, "you didn't even make it to our wedding on time.". This is a stick that just won't break.  Needless to say, I was not late for my wedding.

Our wedding had some hang ups that we still talk about.  It rained, which is lucky we're told.  We tell that to the bride anyway, so she is less stressed about the rain.  It doesn't work.  Shelly's Aunt called her to tell her no one was going to make it because the freeway was backed up.  Hot Tip: Don't call a bride on her wedding day to tell her that her lifetime of planning this moment is going down the tubes.  If you are stuck it traffic and you feel that compulsion, throw your cell out the window.  I mumbled or stumbled over a portion of the vows.  I may have requested richer or richer.  What I wasn't, though, was late.

To be honest, I don't remember much about the day before the wedding.  I know I had stuff I had to get done and I was getting it done.  But at this point, as I look back, these are actions through a cloudy lens.  What I remember was being the most excited and nervous I had been in my life and wanting to be there.  I ran to the store with robin actions because my brain was going, "Your getting married.  Don't forget your getting married.  You know what time to be there don't you.  Your getting married....". Let me tell you, it's hard to think about much else when your head is clocking at that speed.

At the soonest possible moment I could drive to the church I did.  I wasn't thinking, this will save years of fights, or thus is my opportunity to shine, or any of those deeper more methodical thoughts.  That part of me was on vacation.  What I was think was WooooHoooo I'm getting married.  I get to spend my life with my best friend.  God must really love me.  I was in the midst of a mental happy dance.

My first clear memory of that day was turning into the drive of Main Street Baptist Church.  I round the corner and the bridesmaids are getting out of a vehicle, which my wife was in.  I was early, very early.  That is when my brain started a new chat, "Your soon to be wife is going to kill you if you see the dress early!  Get out! Abort! Abort!". Into reverse I went, back down the drive, but not before she saw me.

To this day, along with the bad news phone call and the rain, my too prompt arrival is a matter of wedding discussion.  I just hope she remembers this mistake for what it was, a moment when her husband was overwhelmed with the excitement of being with her.