Willpower

I make a phone call, rather than send a quick text, because I am driving and texting a driving is probably a bad idea. In the back seat Sienna and Shelby listen in. The call is quick. I ask if he worked out, he says he did, I tell him good job and he says thank you. Short. Sweet. Successful.

It is then, after I hang up, it is brought to my attention how alien this is to my children. Shelby asks me why I call to make sure someone worked out. I tel her he asked me to. She chews on this, but she does not really understand. In her mind she is thinking, if you want to do something, you do it and if you don't want to do something you don't. Why would you ask someone to hold you accountable.

I try to explain it to her, asking about things which she needs to do, but doesn't want to. She gets it only a little, but I can tell she thinks it is crazy to ask someone to make sure you clean your room or do your chores. She doesn't look at it this way, but I do; her willpower is not going to be spent fighting for things she doesn't really like.

Imagine for a moment, that willpower is energy. It is not a limitless supply and you only have so much. Doing something you want to do takes no will power or maybe even it requires willpower to resist it. Doing something you don't want to do has a willpower cost.

So, what is there to do with this? Most of us could use more willpower than we seem to have. We fail everyday. So, there are two quick things which you can do to make a change in this. First, exercise your willpower. The more you are willing to do the things you should do, when you don't want to, the greater your willpower will be. Second, get an accountability partner to encourage you to do those things you seem to lack the willpower to do. This can be just the boost you need begin grabbing those successes you have been missing out on.

What about those people that have too much willpower. I have heard this in accountability discussions. This is not your problem. In every case where someone has claimed to have too much willpower, what they actually had was a stubborn resistance to using their willpower. It is not your willpower that keeps you sitting in the chair, when you know you should be taking a walk, you just tell yourself that because it sounds better than being weak. So, it this is you, what are you to do? I have this recommendation, prayerfully make a list of those things you should and should not be doing. Make sure they are scripturally sound. Recognize that it is willpower to do those things and laziness and selfishness which keeps you from doing them. With this recognition, pick one of these things you are dropping the ball on and commit to doing it.

Is this an adult thing, Shelby asked me. I considered for a moment and told her, it was more of an adult thing. Upon deeper consideration, I actually think it is a spiritual maturity thing.