Mushrooms

The mushroom grew from just a tiny spore, lighter than air, which carried on a rogue current was deposited into the cave. The cave was a perfect home for the future fungus. The painful rays of the sun could not get through the walls of stone, which left the air cool and damp, but not wet. The cold humidity of a dead body. Additionally, some bear must have found this cave just as delightful, because he left his waste in the corner of the natural room, the waste on which that spore settled, the waste which would become the food source for the spore. So, the mushroom, in all its poisonous glory grew, eventually casting off spores itself.

The private burden didn't start as anything. A fleeting thought, a minor action, something which wouldn't even be a foot note in your biography. But that insignificant nothing settled itself into your mind. Your mind, as it was, was the perfect home for this future shame. You didn't let God's light shine through the barrier you had erected. You could never bring yourself to confess, to share, to open up, to those who would support you. The painful interactions with God or the Godly didn't need to happen here. This space was where thoughts and desires came to be animated. I dark place of thought necromancy, where the failings of your control could remain hidden. The terrible thing about this place is it is neglected, like a room in your house where guests are forbidden to go, cluttered with the garbage you have accumulated, garbage which become the food to grow that burden into so much more. And so, the shame and doubt and disappointment and sin, which grows in the shadows of your mind, will, like the mushroom, cast off children of its own.

In my experience, which is not great, I have come to believe we all have these dark places in our mind. Places where we keep the lamp of God from being a light unto our feet, which David references in Psalm 119. John also wrote, in his letter 1 John, that sin is walking in darkness and walking with Jesus is walking in light. There is something about that dark hidden which produces the ungodly things.

So, what is there to do about it? First and foremost, give those things, those thoughts, those doubts, those burdens to God. Let him claim all of you. Second, don't keep them in the dark. I am not saying you need to go crazy and publicly declare all your ugly baggage, but understand it is not yours anymore. You have given it to God to be set out as he chooses. Find a trusted accountability partner to help you from hiding these things back in the dark. Give them a flashlight (a God driven partnership) and the permission to explore the caves of your mind. This will be uncomfortable, but it can go a long way into killing those spores before they become something more.