Change?

Do you want to change? If you are like most people, this probably a complex answer. On one hand, from that remote position where you can look down on your life, you would probably say yes. You would be in better shape, you would finish that schooling, you would get a better job, you would read your bible more and watch TV less. You would be a better husband or father, host or employee. On the other hand, you are comfortable with your life, if you weren't you wouldn't live it that way.

You hate the scale, but like being able to eat ice cream. You hate your job, the trap it feels like, but like knowing you will get a check every two weeks. You wish your kids would talk to you when they have a problem, but you like being able to go to the garage or into the den or into your headphones to tune them out. Of course you would change, but you enjoy the way it is enough not to.

Think about those times you have changed? The new job that came because you lost the last job, which generated that flurry of resumes and interviews and finally, a new position. You quit smoking when a hard cough left a napkin covered in red and even though you realized later it was pizza sauce, the fear it gave you caused you to crush your last pack and drop it in the garbage disposal. You got to the point you had urgency. Urgency is the key to unlock change. If you don't feel the pressure, the fear, the consequences of not changing, odds are you won't.

So, do you want to change? Pile on the urgency. How do you do that? For starters you can quit. I realize that seems dangerous, but that is kind of the point.

The biggest change I have probably made recently was losing weight. Have have made other changes, of course, but that one really required me to make a change. So, how did I get that urgency? First, I did the research, what is the impact on my life, both quality and life expectancy? It was clear I would live longer if I lost weight! years longer. Additionally, even if I stayed at my then weight of 242 pounds, my knees legs and back would wear out much quicker, reducing what I could do and the pain I would experience trying to do it. My weight was killing me. I'd like to say that was enough to make the change, but it wasn't. Ice cream will swallow these thoughts very quickly. Urgency, but not enough urgency. Second, I asked a friend, who was also provoking me, to hold me to some diet and exercise standards. I agreed I would report to him my weight, which would make it clear if I was doing what I said I would do. This meant, if I cheated, even if no one else knew, he would know. I gave him permission to be mean to me, not let me off the hook. I hate failing. This was the trick. This was enough urgency. Yes, it was uncomfortable, but I am happier, much happier with my weight today than I was two years ago.

Now, what about you? How do you plan to induce your own urgency? I recommend first looking full in the face the consequences of where you are at? Second, give someone else that knowledge, and permit them to check you, maybe even be mean to you. If you want to change, you need to be made uncomfortable. No urgency, no change.