We have a problem

The meeting ended a little early. This was a good thing, not just because I was going to have lunch next, but because it was awkward being in the small room with Jania. She knew that something was wrong, but I had not had time to gather myself to tell her. She knew I removed her from a big part of her work and told her we needed to talk yesterday, but she didn't know the details.

I could feel the uncomfortableness of the conversation in my stomach.

I closed my iPad and got to my feet. I would be first out of the room. "We can talk now," Jania said. "Crap," I thought. I sat back down and let everyone else leave.

My mind was racing. I had to be honest, but what I had to tell her would be a kick to the gut. I'd like to say I played it cool, but I was awkward and uncomfortable. After the first few minutes, she told me she could tell I was "soft peddling," and to just be straight. With a breath I told her, her quality was so bad it was impacting the enterprise, her performance was too slow to explain it, she was cutting out of work early and she seemed to be too distracted to do her job. I told her, I believed in her, but I needed to know she could do the job. I wanted to feel like I was doing a good job, but I didn't. The room felt too small.

"I just don't want to lose my job," she said and it made me think of her kids, who drive her crazy. How she was a single mom doing the best she could. What would she do?

It sent me back to the little conference room of Data Constructs. Joe in his little button up shirt sat across from me. What did he say? I couldn't get my head around it. He was explaining why my key didn't work anymore. How I wasn't going to have a job anymore. How I had gone from being the guy who was going to train hotels around the world, to unemployed. I was nauseous. How would I tell Shelly? We already didn't have any money.

That feeling is still so ugly. Every once in a while I check, with hope, to see if Data Constructs has closed it doors. I didn't want to do that to anyone.

"I don't want you to lose your job, either," I said.