Q-Tips

I stand in the bathroom behind the locked door. I have just finished washing my hands. The towel is roughly pushed back over the bar. It is not neat, but I din't care. I open the medicine cabinet and look down the disorganized selves. At the bottom are a few small containers and tubes. I can see a single Band-aid poking out and bent where the door has been closed on it. Above that is a bottle of Shaving Cream, a razor, a couple tooth brushed, tooth paste, floss and some other miscellaneous items. On the top shelf is the problem, the left half is empty.

I am out of Q-Tips.

I have opened this cabinet a least six times today, out of habit. I may have open it more, but that seems compulsive. Everytime, I am presented with the same collection of things. Everytime, I am presented with the same truth. I am out of Q-Tips. This is a big problem for me. My ear canals feel itchy just thinking abut it. I actually opened the cabinet before I washed my hands too.

I move things around. Maybe a rogue tip is hidden underneath the shaving cream or in the collection stuff on the bottom. No luck. I can practically feel the wax build up.

I know this is my obsession. I know that it is unusual. These things don't really change anything. Nine times out of ten, if I walk into the bathroom I use a Q-Tip. I've gone though other people cabnets looking for them. I am compelled. An ear wax demon.

I can watch a TV show on parasitic infections, little worms that crawl across the eye and grow in the veins. These things don't phase me much. I love Mike Rowe on Dirty Jobs getting covered in all manner of filth. He can get his hands, face and body dirty and it is just entertainment. On the other hand, I once heard an ear doctor recommend that we not clean our ears, that putting anything in your ear was bad. My eyes bugged out, I felt that familiars tickle and I used two Q-Tips just to make the sensation go away.

Still n the bathroom, still without a Q-Tip I try my finger. I know it is gross, but what choice do I have. My fingers are too fat to do the job. I consider the keys on my ledge. What am I, some kind of hillbilly? I leave them there. The bathroom is too small to give me any hope.

I close the cabinet and walk out like everything is OK. I dn't go back to my seat. Instead, I make a left, go up the stairs to the other bathroom. My quest is not over.