Young Valentines

One box of Knight Rider and one box of Transformer Valentine's Day cards set before me. Tomorrow was the day, well not Valentine's Day, but the day we would have our class party. I should have filled out these cards already, but I hated this part. I hated all the writing.

Truth be told there was only a few people I even wanted to give cards to and only one girl. The rest of the class was just cover for Vanessa. Schoolyard, plausible deniability. Enough to deflect any accusation, but she would still get the message. For a moment I imagined her straight blonde hair and how she playfully ignored me. A game she never seemed to tire of.

I opened the boxes to see what my options were. Her card would have to be first, it had to be just the right card. It needed to be the "BE MINE" of cards, rather than the "YOU ROCK" or "LET'S READ". Who thought putting "Let's read" on a Sweetheart was a good idea? Anyway, I splay the sheets of six perforated cards before me and see what I have. Bumblebee and Optimus Prime, KITT and Michael Knight, but what were they saying. "It's Valentine's Day," would be perfect for the cover cards, but no good for Vanessa. "Happy Valentine's Day," was better, but not really the message I was going for. "Valentine's Day. Roll out." Clearly a friend card.

The I saw it. The perfect card. The black car was turned at an angle so you could both see the red light on the front and the drivers side door. Sitting on the hood is one of my TV heroes, in a leather jacket and jeans looking super cool. It would be years before I thought about him as the Hoff, but he was just Michael Knight at this time. He was looking right at the person holding this card, with a point which said I see you and the words over his head which said, "Be me Valentine." Clearly Vanessa's card.

I popped the card out carefully, I didn't want to tear it. Behind the "To:" I wrote Vanessa and then I paused. I could put something clever where my name was supposed to go, something like "Your Secret Admirer" but the ruined the cover and I was pretty sure I couldn't spell admirer. Also, truth be told, it was only a secret because she liked to ignore me so much. Nope, needed to stick to the plan. I wrote my name. I should have gotten a sticker or something to make it stand out, but the only stickers I had were Garbage Pail Kids. Two problems with that. One, even as an elementary schooler, I knew sticking a puking or acne covered kid was the least romantic thing one could add to a card. Second, who would ruin a Garbage Pail Kid by pealing the sticker off the back, I wasn't an animal. So, I signed my name.

I had sat there for a half hour filling out my first card, but it had to be right. Just right. In twenty more minutes the rest of the cards were done, the only real thought given was making sure none of the boys got the other cards that looked like Vanessa's. No Louis I don't want to be your Valentine. I am not a girl.

I imagined how this one card could change everything, how she would see through the party and see me, really see me. I imagined how delighted she would be to have gotten such a perfect card, delighted enough to break her silence. I slept the sleep of hope, that sleep which often proceeds the crushing reality of an elementary school boy.

The highlight of the party was the cupcakes.