Milwood Youth Group

In fall of 1993 at least three substantial things happened in my life. I moved to Kalamazoo, about two hours from my family and in with my Aunt. I started attending Western Michigan University, as part of my plan to become a great American novelist and I started attending Milwood United Methodist Church. These were the days when I wore red square sunglasses, crazily colored hats, flannel shirts and hole riddled jeans, roughly repaired with safety pins. I was pretty responsible for my age, but I was young, impulsive and unwise.

I did not just go to Milwood, but I joined and in a few weeks started working as a youth leader. I think we had gone to church a couple times, Aunt Nancy and I and a few of her friends, and it came to my attention that the youth leaders were looking for some help. I found out who they were, introduced myself and they invited me to come see what it was all about.

Richard and Sheri, the couple running the group, were fantastic. Upon first meeting them I thought he looked a little like Gomez Addams, I think it was the mustache, but they were not reserved. They rolled with the punches, always expressed love, talked with the kids and just made the group a family. I learned their games, like batonka and saw their rituals, each kid getting to paint a brick on their senior year. I loved the ministry.

That summer I went to Appalachia Service Project with them, really solidifying myself as part of the group. I was friends with the kids, many of them fascinating, and friends with their parents some of whom had a long legacy at the church. One of the first things I noticed in the church was an old choir photo on the wall, which had some of these parents as children and their parents. So, to be accepted somehow felt like getting into the club.

I think it was when we returned, perhaps a few week later, that Richard and Sheri asked to meet with me, I was worried, as I always am when someone asks to speak to me privately, but I agreed to come to youth group early so we could talk. As it turned out, they were planning to start a family, did not have time to devote to this ministry anymore and they asked me to consider taking over. This was a horrible idea, I had never planned to the level this would require, I didn't really understand the way the Methodist church worked, I didn't even really know the pastor. Worst of all, I was interested in one of the youth girls, only one year my junior, but across that divide. So, I said I would pray about it, but I already knew I would say yes.

In a few months the transition was made, I got an office, inherited all their lesson books and took over the schedule. There was a lot I did poorly. I was bad at running events and keeping control of the kids. I didn't get the help I needed. I cancelled events with very little notice. On the other hand, the one thing I did well was teach the Bible. I studied and read context, I planned discussions and bridged it over to modern life. This was the spot I didn't feel like a fish out of water.

I had, had an initial interview when I got the job, but otherwise I had not had any connection to church leadership. I had run the group for a year or two, even taking the kids to another Appalachia Service Project, but I was disconnected. So, out of the blue one of the parents, Gary I think, came up to me and let me know he was part of the lay board and they would like to talk to me. I asked him what the lay board was and then worked out a time I could meet them.

They used the library of the church and as I recall they sat in the chairs scattered around the room. I think Gary, the parent who came to me, was the only person I knew. They asked what my plan was with the youth, what I was trying to do. So, I told them a rough idea for youth nights, I expressed my focus on the Bible study and talked a little about how little bible knowledge most of the kids seem to have. I don't remember exactly how the conversation went from that point, but I walked away with one clear take away. They wanted me to focus on making the group more fun and less on Bible study. This group, as I understood it, worked as my boss for the church. This was a paid position, with funds they controlled. They wanted to pay me to teach less Bible. This was so alien to me, I don't even remember what I said. I think I protested a little, but I don't remember. Less Bible?

In about two months, having said my own goodbyes, not blaming the church, just citing other life commitments, I retired from being the Milwood youth director.