They are on the roof...

When I was about nine or ten years old, my parents, with the help of my uncle and grandfather, built an addition onto our home. I've written about it before, in terms of the kind of chores and work it resulted in me having, but that wasn't the only thing which came from this time in my life. It also became a time they encouraged me to lie, although not well.

We were in the final phases of building the addition. The walls were up and had windows, the floors were still rough subfloor, the roof was decked, but not yet shingled. Had we been true to our hillbilly blood, we probably would have been, but my parents were higher minded than that. Car keys may be used to clean ears and we may worsh dishes, but we would have shingles.

It was sometime in those days, days when I would be tasked with crawling into the corners of the attic to unroll insulation or walk the twenty foot roof to gather tools left up there, when it was decided we could be left alone for the first time. I suppose once a child can risk his life by walking around a wood structure, which is slanted towards a sudden and deadly drop, leaving them in the house for five minutes so you can go get milk, seems benign.

Just as I'm sure she would peak out the windows to make sure I hadn't toppled to my doom during tool gathering, my mother laid out some precautions while she was away. The main concern it seemed was being caught in a robbery, or being kidnapped, so nearly all of our precautions centered around the phone. We needed to answer the phone in case it was her or the police calling, and more importantly so it was clear to the would be robbers that the home was occupied. A robber could be anyone, not just a strange person, but a person you know. So, when the robber calls, you can't let them know that you are alone, instead I was to tell them my parents were working on the roof. Given the current state of construction, this seemed plausible.

The first time we were left alone, the phone rang, I answered, gave the lie, took a message and nothing happened. It worked, just as predicted. No robbery or kidnapping, no question of betrayal.

It was a few days later when my Mom left to go to the store, leaving us home for a second time. We were busy playing, but aware she had run out, she was only supposed to be gone for a few minutes. The call came just a couple minutes after she left. I picked up the yellow handset and said hello. It was someone from church, but I had been taught. That could be a robber. They might not be as nice as I thought they were. "Can I talk to your mom?" The church lady asked. "My parents are on the roof," I said with confidence. "Really?" The church lady said. Uh oh, I begin to think, perhaps I shouldn't have lied, perhaps God had told the church lady... I swallowed the thought. "Yep, on the roof." "It is really raining outside." I turned at look out the window. It wasn't just raining, it was sheets of rain, soaking everything with heavy drops, painting the world grey. I paused, while I looked out the window.

"I'll have her call you when she gets down." I said, and hung up quickly.