Thinking on success

Today is a day of goals for me. Steve and I are laying out the things we want to accomplish in 2013, for a conversation this afternoon. We'll be making sure our accountability lines up with our bigger desires and the bigger desires we think God has for us. Today was my review with my boss, looking at how I did on my 2012 goals, and also my goal planning, deciding on what goal my team and I will try to accomplish this year. So, with these things swirling around, it has me thinking about success. What is it that allows some people to reach their goals and others to give up after three days?

I am no expert on these things, but between Wikipedia and Radiolab, I'll play one for the purpose of this blog.

Your body and mind had a default goal not to change. You do not need to set a goal to keep eating Cheetos and watching The Big Bang Theory. If you do not set any goals, you will do what you have done. You will fall into those comfortable and selfish and lazy patterns. The goals we set, are outside of that pattern and a simple declaration doesn't get you there. You have to work at it.

The primary energy which determines your success or failure at making this adjustment is willpower. Think about this, not as fixed quantity, but a pool of energy, which grows and shrinks. So, success is arrived at when you have enough willpower to do the required work and the amount of willpower required is the space of the gap between your default pattern and what it is you want to do. We don't stick to diets and exercise and Bible reading because at some point our willpower is smaller than the gap.

So, what to do? First, understand you can manipulate the gap. The worst kind of goal you can have is a drastic change, which you can easily not do. This is a doomed goal. The goal needs to be realistic. If you have never worked out before, you should not set a goal of working out everyday. It is probably too much of a change. Perhaps a walk everyday, or a working out a couple times a week. In either case, it is better than having three good days followed by a year of saying you should get back to working out. It is not just the change that impacts the gap, but the ease you have in doing it. Working out at a gym which requires you to drive for 45 minutes is far less likely to happen, that working out at home or near home. Also, making it difficult to avoid shrinks the gap. If you workout with a buddy, then you have to tell him you feel like being lazy, which might just be enough to prod you forward when you don't have a good excuse. Get the gap small enough your will power can cover it.

Second, you can boost your willpower. Of course over time, as you use willpower, you build willpower, but that doesn't help you now. So, here are two quick tip to boost your will power right now. On goals which are don't do X goals, goals where you give something up, one of the best willpower boosters you have is distraction. When you really want to eat half a box of Girl Scout cookies, you start doing something which takes your attention with maybe a bag of carrots at hand. TV and simple computer games are not good for this, as they allow too much mental wandering. The second tip works best on goals which are do something goal. That is reward yourself when you are done. Want to get consistent on walking two miles everyday? Perhaps you end every walk with a guilt free miniature candy bar. What is you are trying to read through the Bible? Maybe a little purchase after every book, or some big purchase what you are done. Add to the will power, by giving yourself a little perk. It should be a perk you remove when you are not successful. You train yourself.

Last, you are going to fail sometimes. When stress is high, illness sets in, or you are emotionally sapped, your willpower reserve gets smaller. You have less energy to make the gap. You have to be ok with failing sometimes. Don't set out to fail, but be determined that when you do, you will get right back on the horse. To often a small setback becomes the excuse to fall back, for a long time, into old patterns. This becomes further draining, which makes it even harder. A deadly spiral. Instead, recognize what happen and immediately begin mustering your willpower. Prepare to restart and quickly. Messed up lunch, be prepared for dinner. Dropped the ball today, restart tomorrow. You can regroup quicker then you think and if it seems like you can't talk to someone, it might just give you the boost you need to get going again.

Now, let's go be successful.