Birthday

Today is my Birthday. This means I have finished one more lap around the sun, approximately, and the date on the calendar has the same day, as the day I was born. I have no control over either of these things. I can't, no matter how hard I try, not lap the sun, nor stop the calendar. So, in what ever celebration there is, it has nothing to do with my merit.

This makes it an odd thing to be congratulated for, or have a celebration offered for. So, for the most part, I keep it to myself. I go to work and tell no one, have my meetings and answer my e-mails. I make my accountability calls, just as I would on any Monday. I keep it under wraps enough that when Joslyn asked me questions, letting me know that she knew it was my birthday, I sheepishly told her that it was. It felt like she might ruin my game, reveal my secret, although it never was a secret, just not worth mentioning.

I like gifts and cake and having a day in my honor, who doesn't, but it has never felt right for my birthday. I've tried playing the birthday card before, but I just can't do it. I don't have the conviction to extract favors for... existing. But it's my birthday, doesn't really work in my house.

It is not that I think birthdays should not be celebrated at all, but for the most part I think we do it wrong and I feel weird about it. My birthday is not a celebration of what I have done, but of the time God has granted me. It is not a time to celebrate, but a time to be thankful. See, while I don't control the day of the calendar it is, God does. While I don't ask to make laps around the sun, God ordained it. I am here because God has seen fit for me to be here and not for any other reason. So, today is my birthday and I thank him for the 38 years he has given me.