Looking Back

On Tuesday Reuben, who I normally walk with came back from a sick day. In his left hand he carried a large red back of Ricola cough drops, I suspect cherry flavored, and when he talked he had another mans voice. If a lady bullfrog had taken Barry White up on his seductive offer, and this illicit encounter had produced offspring, I imagine his voice would have been the same a Reuben's. Clearly, he was still sick. In no way does this mean I was going to take it easy on him.

Leading up to our usual walk time, I'm already asking him if he is going to walk and when he croaks that he doesn't think he should. I tell him how good it would be for him, to hack up all that phlegm. My jabs escalate, but in frequency and childishness until it is time to walk. He is unmoved. So, I switch to Robert, a new guy in our area who also walks, and ask him if he would like to go. He looks outside and sees the light snowfall, which lasted only about as long as his gaze, and tells me he'll walk inside.

I am off. I tell them what wimps they are, let them know I can't believe how much they are letting me down. I read them the riot act and all the addendum. Robert, perhaps encouraged by Reuben, who is weakly giving into a little throat issue, stands firm. Their resistance only encourages me, I mean what are they going to say, I'm the one going walking. We stand by the window, so I point, with all the drama I can muster, like Babe Ruth pointing into the stands, down to where I will be walking. "While you wimps are being lazy inside, you look down there and you are going to see me looking up, looking up at you guys who couldn't hack it." Then, not to delay any longer, I put my shoes and coat on and I'm off. I walk toward the exit, knowing who is the superior man.

The cold air hits me when I open the door, but it doesn't slow me, it invigorates me. I will show those guys. I pick up speed, walking even faster, perhaps faster than the quick pace Reuben and I normally set. My mind races through a dozen more barbs I can throw when I get back.

Just off the stairs, I get to the point in the walk where I can see around the corner of the build, make eye contact with whoever would be behind the darkened glass. I look to my right and locate approximately where I know Reuben and Robert are standing. I go full stinkeye. I want them to feel my distain, to know that I am thinking about their inabilities. I move even quicker to prove my point.

What I didn't know was, was that my quickly moving left foot had just landed cleanly, nothing to tell me anything was wrong, just to left of a cement footing, which supported a fifteen foot tall, six inch in diameter, steel light pole. The collision was spectacular. When the left side of my head, exposed because of the ferocious glare I was giving, hit the lamppost, I could hear the bulb bang against the inside of the globe. I could hear the wire on the inside of the steel structure slap back and forth as the pole rocked threatening to break from the ground. I heard this all from my back. You know how sometime when you fall you have that moment to adjust you legs, or put out your hand, or other wise brace for impact? There was none of that. I was immediately leveled.

It is quite amazing how fast ones wishes can change. Even more than I had wanted them to see me down there looking up at them, I really was hoping that had not taken me up on that offer. Dear God, please make it so my employees didn't see me. I get up very quickly, certain that I am going to draw attention in seconds. I resume my pace hoping I'm not flagged down by security and forced through a medical examination. I worry about some stranger asking me if I am OK. I should probably thank my Dad here, because I seem to be built for this kind of thing. My head doesn't hurt at all, but my pride was aching. I look ahead. I look up to God, acknowledging he just offered up some humility. I look out to the parking lot. I do not look back at the window. Any thought of throwing barbs is gone. I'm not going to talk about this walk at all. I wipe salt off of my back and butt as I walk.

I finish my walk, the full two miles and I am fine. i hope that in the 25 minutes or so I have been gone, my incident has been forgotten. I make it through security without them stopping me, perhaps they were in the back posting the security footage on YouTube. I would probably prefer that to them stopping me. I just want to go hide in my cube for a bit. I make it into the area, and no one says anything to me. I almost make it into my cube, but Reuben sits right across from me. It was his window I had pointed through. He looks up at me and say, "Are you OK?" The concern for the moment is genuine. "You really wrecked that pole, I mean is was swaying back and forth." His hands are n either side of him, dramatically showing what my head had done to the pole. "Yes, other than my pride I'm alright." Then, he laughed.

For the remainder of the day, every time I saw Reuben he laughed. Robert, who had also been watching laughed. Brenda, who heard the gasps, but wasn't quick enough to see me on the ground, laughed. Joslyn, who had suggested they might want to get their coats on and go see about me, but decided they couldn't catch me, laughed. Karen, who was home sick, but reachable by text and IM, laughed. I laughed with them.